2 years ago...a sad story

If you don't feel like reading this whole thing that's fine. It's a sad story that I'm writing here and I'm mostly doing it because it helps me deal with it to write it all out. There's my disclaimer. As my title says, 2 years ago around 1 am on July 23, 2007 I gave birth to our first child, a daughter we named Katy Nicole. She was beautiful and perfect, but was stillborn. We found out when I went in for my 24 week check-up and there was no heartbeat that she had died. I don't know how long Casey and I cried. I hadn't had any pain, no signs that anything was wrong, and even after she was born no one could find a cause. We still don't know what happened or why and I had to stop blaming myself. Any mother that has lost a child has probably felt the same way I did. I felt like my body had betrayed me; a mother's womb should be the safest place for a growing baby and mine wasn't. I went into the hospital Sunday morning surrounded by family that came out for support and we waited all day while nothing happened. I still had to be induced because I wasn't going into labor, and that took all day. Casey was amazing and stayed by my side the whole time. I received a blessing before going into the hospital which comforted me and gave me strength, and then Sunday night Casey said another prayer. It wasn't long after, that things started to progress and Monday morning I had her. She had my feet and toes. We have casts of her hands and feet and a teddy bear to help us remember. This was absolutely the most difficult thing I have ever been through, but what gave me the most comfort was the knowledge that Casey and I had been sealed in the temple and would get to have Katy forever. I also struggled for a while trying to figure out why the Lord would do this to us, and kept remembering that He doesn't give us challenges that are impossible for us to overcome and that knowledge also comforted me and gave me the strength that I needed to continue with my life. This story has a happy ending because nine month after we lost our daughter I realized I was pregnant with our son. Jesse has really helped me to heal and patch my little heart up. He had a perfect pregnancy and an easy labor and is an incredibly happy, easy-going baby. I feel like the Lord gave us a huge blessing in a wonderful child and I am so grateful for that! As Jesse gets older we'll tell him more about his big sister. If you're still reading, thanks! Sometimes writing it out is the best therapy for me. Now I have to go because Jess has found the Xbox and needs to be redirected!